I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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