dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I'm really busy with my period
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