Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I touched a dick in church today
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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