was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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