Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
