You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
