Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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