This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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