Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
