It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
