meet me or not, i'm out of control
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
