How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it glows. i had to have it.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
