Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Randomize
