I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
