Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
