This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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