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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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