i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize