I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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