Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize