Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
