Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
