well I can't set my house on fire every night
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
