sarcasm needs its own font
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
