I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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