You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm sobbing to NWA
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
