I think i peed on brittanys purse
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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