I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize