I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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