I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm like, not good at living.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize