trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
