he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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