so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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