They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
