you're like a bully in the Christmas story
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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