All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
