that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
