The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
