who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
