Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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