So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
