Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
