I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
