Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
