I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
