what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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