You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
