But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Buhtt sex?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize