Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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