I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
