all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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