Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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