I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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