Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
