I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize