I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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