I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
