they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
