If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
high people should be assigned attendants
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize