we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
