It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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