He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
