HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
