Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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