omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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