Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
